When I woke up after a really beautiful dream about the summer, my first thought was "I do not want to die" but my next thought was "I can not actually choose" so I thank the book i read that we are unique when we can only have a one thought in the head all the time, and i really learned from it. So i quickly chose to think of something else, unnecessary to punish myself. Choosing positive thoughts instead. A bad morning but now a better day. Soon go to a game room and play games with my 17year old son Damien.